Mulligans

Did you ever wish you had a do over in life, back to day one?? I sure do, there’s so much I would change!

First I’d be a stronger person around my mother. She’d berate me for being a follower, having no voice or ideas of my own. On the other hand if I tried to be any of those things at home she’d smoosh me like a bug. I was welcome to my opinion, as long as it matched hers. All my ideas were stupid or idiotic.

I wouldn’t have been such a good kid. It got me nowhere. When I left home I should have gone alone and never returned.

I should not have given up *me* for everyone else. I should have taken more time for what I wanted instead of doing what everyone else wanted.

I should have splurged on manicures and professional perms and coloring.

Instead, I always made sure everyone else was happy. Still do it. This Christmas DH had been out of work 20 months. I managed to scrape together gifts for the kids. Nothing for me, not even the pajamas I so desperately needed. But hubby went on Amazon and got $40 worth of CDs and DVDs. Our movie and music collection could pay off our mortgage. Not even joking.

Now, when I finally figured I’d have 20 years to do for me, to take trips, etc., I’m stuck at home. One foot in the grave the other on a banana peel.

I have been wronged, significantly, by almost everyone ever in my life.

Yeah, that’s fair.

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Posted on February 2, 2012, in Rants and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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