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Crazy jobs

Over the years like most people I’ve had a variety of different jobs. I didn’t realize, however, how crazy some of them were until I started telling my husband about them from time to time.

I’m going to share of few of these with you, relatively in chronological order. Keep in mind I started work as a babysitter in 1977 so the memory is scratchy!

My first real job was at a stuffed animal kiosk on the mall. The “roof” was just a plastic grid we hung animals from, and it was on the first floor of a two story mall.

One night I was sitting there and a guy walked in looking at monkeys. He asked if something smelled bad but I didn’t smell it. He bought a monkey and left. A couple minutes later there was a commotion and suddenly a guy yanked me out of the store. It was on fire!! Turned out someone flicked a cigarette off the 2nd story (you could smoke in the mall in 1978!) onto my roof/animals. So much for that job!!

I worked for a sole practitioner lawyer, I really don’t know much about his legal business. My “office” was on the sun porch. Hot as hades in the summer, freezing in winter. I never typed a single letter, all his clients were in Japan.

He’d yell at me at least once a week about how his wife and (grown) kids were spending faster than he could earn. He took a 2 hour martini lunch every day. I once saw a huge buck in the backyard, he was furious I hadn’t gotten his rifle and shot it! The day I thought he was dead was bad (he always came down by 9am, by 10 I got to looking for him. He was asleep :/.) But I finally quit that summer when his kids had a coed naked swim party in the pool 20 feet from my desk and he didn’t care!!!

I later worked for an amazing attorney, also a sole practitioner. One day as he was leaving for court I saw a stain on his pants. He refused to undress so I got the K2R and read the directions to shake then hold it 8 inches from the fabric. I shook it, then said “show me 8 inches”. His pants never did get cleaned, it took me quite awhile to regain my composure, especially after he said he can’t do that on command for his wife! This was always referred to as the K2R incident.

He was going in front of Lynne Abraham, a Philadelphia judge back in those days. She had a strict rule about how you dressed, no stains for sure!

I worked a short time in 1980 for the Asbestos Insulating Company in Norristown. I remember blowing asbestos dust off the break room table to eat lunch…

Just out of college I got a job at an accounting firm. I gave my two weeks notice the first day I worked! I hated it that bad.

I worked for Cingular Wireless in the call center for two years. On 9/12/01 I got a phone call from a lady about her bill. Typical stuff, we were going over it when suddenly her husband grabs the phone and starts screaming at me. He said you credit this whole bill now. I said no sir please put Ms whomever back on the phone.

Now he goes ballistic. You people got exactly what you deserved yesterday and there’s more where that came from. Slightly panicked but seriously pissed off I said “who are you people sir? Americans? Are you not one of us, part of that collective you?” And he said no. Also interesting, he was a postal employee…

By this time several people had gathered at my desk. I passed him to my supervisor and she explained we were reporting him. She made a report to the FBI.

Weird thing – call center people have a habit of keeping a list of accounts they want to watch, and he went on my list. I checked a few times, nothing but my notes. A week later, his account was gone, no longer visible. I could see accounts that had been closed 5 years ago but his was gone off the system.

I also taught school for awhile, fourth grade. We had a unisex bathroom right in the classroom. Before lunch one day a girl came up and whispered the bathroom was messy. I looked, and one of my boys had whizzed everywhere, walls, sink, light fixture!!

I sat them down and explained how were all big boys and girls, the janitor shouldn’t have to make a special trip because one boy wanted to play games by urinating on the sink, mirror and walls.

A hand shot up, a sweet little boy, he asked how I knew a boy did it. He truly didn’t know 😉

I said sometimes just like with moms and dads teacher can only say trust me on this! The boy I suspected, at 12 an old hand at 4th grade, smirked.

I’ve had a lot more good experiences then bad in my working career. Now that it’s over, I’m glad of that!

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